Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

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What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

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Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call a latino with a limp? John...his name is John

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What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

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When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

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god sent down his only son, " his only son." so in gods eyes we are a bunch of girls.

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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Ok soo theres a Jewish Guy, a Christian Guy and a Gay Guy. The Jewish Guy goes Amen The Christian Guy goes Ámen The Gay Guy goes Ammeeeennn

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Q. Why did the man get an email? A. Because he checked his inbox.

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What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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What is wrong with black stereotypes? Nothing! Basketball is pretty fun if you try it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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