Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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Did you hear the one about the avalanche that crashed into the bar? It was such a tragedy.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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