What is worse then losing your remote? Falling off a cliff landing on a sharp rock and dying slowly.

What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

Why was the curious black guy a good Lumberjack? He was always axin'.

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

What's red and smells like metal? A tricycle. It's covered in blood.

What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

Nancy Kerrigan walks into a club

Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

Roses are red Grass is green Get in the van If you know what I mean

whats hard long and you put it in your mouth everyday a toothbrush

What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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