"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Will farrow now gimme your hentai"

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

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how did the homeless man die? He got stabbed

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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Matthew Wyckoff

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whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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Why did Gavin kill Harley. Because his voices told him to.

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fhfhfjjil;tyjgfkileg ryj ftrgndfhuiltyjgn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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