How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

What do you call a place full of large volumes of random, unwanted knowledge? The usersub on this site.

You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

What's the name of Hellen keller's dog? She doesn't have a dog, she's blind and deaf and would not be able to give it the adequate amount of care. Additionally, it's morally reprehensible to make fun of Helen Keller.

What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

Why was the boy late for class? He was late because he got stabbed and left in the bathroom.

Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? Ones a person and the others a bench.

Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

Bill had two options the red truck or the blue sedan. Your mother is a whore.

Why did the blond have a wierd look on her face? Because she was ugly

Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

Why did the black man jump off of a bridge? -He was in depression and comitted suicide.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

America needs to burn Less fossil fuels to save the environment

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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