How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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Q: What did the crippled deaf kid get for Christmas? A: A motorised wheelchair and a cochlear implant. Good for him.

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

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A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was stapeled on to the elephant.

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What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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Why can't bob fix it? I through a frige at him.he died.

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why did they plain crash? cause of gravity stupid

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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