Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

Two Guys Walk into a bar, you would think one of them would've seen it

Why didn't the man walk done the stairs? Because he had no legs

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 went to a house party. 7 was there. 7 and 6 kind of new each other. They went to the same school, but weren`t really friends. All night 7 was giving 6 strange looks. 6 started feeling uneasy, so he left the party early. When 6 got in his car 7 was inside waiting for him and pulled out a gun. Luckily 6 got away from 7 safely, but has been scared of him ever since.

A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin after being attacked by a man with a mace.

Poker face

If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

why did the girl fall off the swing? because someone threw a fridge at her.

What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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