- Anti Joke

How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

What's red, black, and green all over? This is! I only wish you could see it too - the website wont let me upload a picture - but it is pretty impressive! Oh well.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

I ran out of anti-jokes. However, here's a cool math puzzle. 492 357 816 Using every number from 1-9, each row added up equals to 15, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. Here's another cool word play TEA URN BAY Words horizontally are Tea, Urn, Bay Words vertically are Tub, Era, Any Words diagonally are Try, Bra

"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

What is worse than being eaten alive by a shark? Being force fed live goat intestines while Kevin Spacey rapes your father.

What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops