How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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Q:What did the midget say to the toll booth operator? A: Is your family dead too?

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A women left the kitchen.

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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why did they plain crash? cause of gravity stupid

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Why are black people so good at sports? Through Dedication and lots of training of course

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So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

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Yo momma so ugly, she makes french people say "you are ugly" in whatever language they speak.

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Justin Bieber

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cuz he was black.

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops