why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

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How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? Because he is a Sikh who was mistaken for a muslim after the events of 9/11. His neighbors for 5 years have turned on him and now are throwing rocks at him to alleviate their anger while he is biking to his minimum wage job as a janitor at the local burger king, trying to make money for a family that doesn't love him anymore

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There was a boy and..........his dad said to go to the store to get his daily thing.........he went to the store and bought it......he came home and said.....HERE ARE THE EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A preschool teacher told his class to draw a squirrel. One child proceeds to break into tears. The teacher says "what's wrong Johnny?" Johnny said "my whole family was slaughtered by a gang of squirrels!" this upset the teacher

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How many Haitians does it take to change a lightbulb? Typically one, unless the light bulb referenced is in an inconvenient location or is over-sized / industrial grade.

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Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

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Your mamma's so fat she has diabetes and may die because she may not be able to loose enough weight to keep her blood sugar at a regulated number.

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When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the Taxi crash? The cab driver was trying to remove the frog stapled to his face.

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A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

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A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops