A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

thumb_up thumb_down -29

My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

sandwich. roller coaster. brain sprout. cholera, meander. time. rivet.porcupine. mayonaise. frying. x-ray forever.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

thumb_up thumb_down -31

My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

thumb_up thumb_down -31

In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops