why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

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What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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