I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

Enters password. Sorry your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show, and the blood of your enemies. Enters password. Password Strength: Weak

Q.A zebra somehow managed to get out of the zoo and started running all around the town. After some time he saw a zebra crossing(not an original zebra crossing the road but the black and white stripes)on the road.He stoppped suddenly.WHY? A. He was too tired to run any more!!!

Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

Doctor, Doctor. I think I've broke my arm! I'm going to refer you to the fracture clinic.

Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the patient with narcolepsy? It wasn't. The patients were treated due to moral obligations. But the doctors that laughed had either been fired or warned, depending on if there were previous reports of exploitation of patients.

What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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