A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down -9

i know leaves are green because of chlorophyll but i don't know how to get a mortgage this is the kind if shit your parents pay for

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

thumb_up thumb_down -11

i'm not random but cheese does get a bit purple if you leave it in your laptop then the battery dies and the sun expands and kills every dodo alive even though they're extinct but that not the point

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops