Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

thumb_up thumb_down

whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? 5 dead monkeys.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

thumb_up thumb_down

how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

thumb_up thumb_down

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the child kill his mother because the child gave his mom AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -2

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I LIKE TRAINS

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened to the Asian who ran into the wall with a boner? He ejaculated his sperm, impregnating the wall. The wall went to the authorities, and the man was charged with rape. He is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, with no possibility of parole.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A Mexican, Asian, and a black guy are on a bridge, the Mexican says there is too much rice and throws some off the bridge, the Asian says there are too many burritos and throw some off the bridge, the Black says there are too many candles in his house and throws his car off the bridge. Everyone was happy and left besides the Black because he threw his car off.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two reporters walk into Tah rir Square. Both are abused and that's sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops