Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

What did the American man say to his brother right before his brother's wedding? You should not get married because most likely your marriage will end in a horrible divorice, which will ruin the rest of your pathetic life.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

A man crossed the road. A chicken stood in a doorway smoking a cigarette wondering why whenever he crosses the street his motives are always questioned yet men and other animals are allowed to go about their day normally. END CHICKEN DISCRIMINATION NOW!

A blonde is rowing a boat in a cornfield. While driving by, another blonde notices and pulls over and steps out of her car. She looks out and yells "You know, it's blondes like you that are giving us a bad name. If you weren't so far out, I would swim out there and beat the shit outta you!"

Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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