what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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some kid told me pink dolphin clothiing was nigged, so i took an eraser , gave it to his sister and beat the poop out of hiis car ON A THURSDAY!!!!!!

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How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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it was a black guy a white guy a chinese guy a french guy an arab guy an irish guy and a juncky that was too much for a joke

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Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

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A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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sadf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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