An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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My cat just died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Cancer

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

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moonshine most none americans think its just when the moon shines we have another story

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There is a bunch of penguins and they fall of a cliff

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What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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What is worde then swallowing a slipper? Swallowing a granny to catch the slipper

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops