Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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I put children on a leash and store them under my bed. I feed them bird food and they drink eachothers urine.

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I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

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Wht did noah7262 cross the road? to abandon his friends and play Modern Warfare 3 on xbox live. asshole.

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two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

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3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Her frustrated farmer lured her with bread crums in hopes of retrieving his beloved chicken.

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What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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Why was the dyslexic cowboy crying when he came into school that day? He had chronic diarrhea.

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Yo' Mommas so poor, She has to ask close family friends and relatives for money so she can feed you.

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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