A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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What's weirder than an asian? His dinner

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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THE LOVE SHACK IS A LITTLE OLD PLACE WHERE WE CAN GET TOGETHER!

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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what did the sock say to the shoe? Get your tongue off me.

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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Try this on your friends and make them look dumb So a plane crashes on the border between the USA and Canada. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury the survivors.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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