How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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What do you call a man with a horse? A man

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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wat does T.J.C.S. Mean? leave an comment to answer

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Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

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What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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