Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

what do you get when you cross a turkey with a goat? nothing you can't cross to genetically different spieces stupid

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

A seal walks into a club.

What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

What's clear and looks like water? Water.

What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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