Knock knock. Who's there? Imaj. Imaj who? Haha, you're a Jew.

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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eoin burgin is fat

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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Dr.Octagonapus.... BLAAAAAArGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jackalope :)

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1 111111 1 1 11111111111 1 1 111111 1

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. grass was greener on the other side!

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

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What did the black man say to the white man? "Hi"

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a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

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What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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