How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

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Why was Jimi's mom sad? Because Jimi suddenly fell to the floor clenching his neck while saying "I'm Dying!"

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

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whats gay and american? a gay american

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if you can read this you dont' need glasses

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

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Why was the Jew so happy? He had a good day

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An Englishman, an Irishman, a Frenchman, a Scottish man, an Australian, a German, a Spaniard, an Icelandic man, a Norwegian, a Swede, a Dane, an Italian, a Morrocan, an American, an Algerian, an Egyptian, a Syrian, an Israelite, a Chinese man, a Russian, a Japanese man, an Indian and a Brazilian all walk into a bar. It was a large bar.

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Your mumma's so fat she is fat

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What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

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A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops