How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How can you help Sally who is casually gets beaten by her farther every day? Just give £3 a month to the NSPCC

thumb_up thumb_down +1

your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

thumb_up thumb_down +1

3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

two scientists line up a frog at a line and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off one front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off the other front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off a rear leg and tell it to jump it jumps 2 feet they cut off its last leg and tell it to jump it doesn't move they tell it to jump again it doesn't move the scientists come to a conclusion: frogs with no legs...cant hear

thumb_up thumb_down +1

alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The blonde, brunette and,the red headed girls were at a store. When the blonde says......... im tired let's leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops