What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

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There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

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A depressed horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "Millions of years of natural selection." The horse then tries to drink away his sorrows, but the alcohol is only a temporary release from the pain he's feeling. He kills himself the next day.

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A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, but they're wearing normal people clothes, so no one notices or says anything funny.

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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A guy uses Google locations to find his friend Chuck Norris.

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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Where did jimmy go when the bomb exploded.... (Everywhere )

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Who was the best Call of Duty World at War Player? A: Hitler he had 6 million kills and only 1 death

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops