A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

guess what what ...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the Chicken cross the road? To get to Your House. Knock Knock. Who's there? The chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

whats black and blue and white all over A little caucasian boy who is being abused by his parents

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the little boy fall down? Be he had the downs.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the man scream? because he was run over.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Ludwig van Beethoven, John Coltrane, John Lennon, and Justin Bieber are out for lunch at a taco stand. The owner calls the police, and Justin Bieber is arrested for digging up corpses.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse than the Holocaust? ........finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

mangos mandarins mushrooms mustache :{

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Lady: I think you guys would be very happy here. Chandler: No no no no no no! No, we're not together. We're not a couple, definitely not a couple! Joey: You seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not going to have this conversation AGAIN!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A hispanic priest with a huge boner walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

roses are red turtles are random. cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops