What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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