How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

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What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

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Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

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Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They all say ouch and then continue walking. Although the minister did hit it at a higher speed and ended up with a black eye.

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

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How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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