why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

thumb_up thumb_down -38

question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Q: Do you know how to save a black man from drowning? A: No. GOOD!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

cory is gay

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

what did one waiter say to the other? were waiters.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

thumb_up thumb_down -58

have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

thumb_up thumb_down +29

It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops