The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

It's The Only Crayon The illustrator had?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-guards, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Foghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Foghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

So, I walk into a bar and say "Why do you call this place a bar, I don't see any bars in here!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -18

.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? What? I don't have a Corvette in my garage Wanna hear something gross? Sure. 1 at the bottom is still alive. Wanna hear something grosser? Yea. It's eating its way out

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do silly people in a monastery say? stop munkying around.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

During a boxing match, a white man faces an Asian. The Asian loses. Next the white man faces a Mexican. The Mexican also loses. Now the white man faces a black man. "Aw screw it!"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the black man walk into the catholic church? He was catholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops