Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

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hey jimmy! hey bob -.- jimmy, pls pls explain how to do this.. ): see your mom? yea... do it like we did her (OOOHHHH!)

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RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

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Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

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why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

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Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

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What's funny about a small child with no arms, no legs? Nothing.. Nothing at all.

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what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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