What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

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What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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Q: Playstation 4 or Xbox One? A: Both of them are specialized desktop computers used to play video games. It makes no sense to argue or attempt to make any distinction, as they are the exact same thing.

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You're so vein you are probably a tube that conveys blood from various parts of the body to the heart.

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

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A man jumped off a bridge. He went bungee jumping with his family and had a great time.

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus? He got hit by a bus and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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