What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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a black man pays his child support

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What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

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The Chicken was crossing the road one afternoon, he was fined by a police officer for J walking He made it to the other side.

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

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Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

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Michael Jackson walks into a bar No he doesn't. He's dead.

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How did the boys sunglasses fall off his face? He was drop kicked.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

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A princess kisses a frog to aquire a prince.. then gets arrested for beastiality.

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Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!

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Lol! The connection timed out. Double D`s they kill my back so I am gonna get them reduced someday, and sure because it gets really itchy otherwise.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

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what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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