How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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FOX News: Fair and balanced

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Whats the difference between a baby and a bowling ball? I dont have a bowling ball stapled to my tree

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

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Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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Why did the Asian ace the test? Because she had worked very diligently, taken copious notses, and studied fervently until she had a thorough mastery of the topic.

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Woof.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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