Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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A man said to his friend that he looks like his mom died. the other man started to cry due to the fact that it was acctually his dad

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

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Based on every event that ever happened on Earth, where is a terrorist most likely to plant a bomb? Site B. Many more people play CS:GO than attempt to bomb any real-world location. Site A is a close second.

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what did one lady say to another lady we are both ladies

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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How long does it take to microwave a baby? I don't know, I was to busy masterbating. GBW

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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Why do all black people have AIDS? Because they deserve it.

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what did the dog say to the cat? bark what did the cat say to the dog? nothing it ran away

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A black man in a hooded sweatshirt is sprinting down a back alley. He is trying to get into better shape by exercising and knows a shortcut to his house.

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops