what is similar between a turtle losing its shell, and a man selling his chlothes and house? they are now both naked and homeless

What do you call a man with a horse? A man

One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

What's an example of something quiet? Helen Keller.

Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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Q: What do you call a blonde that just bought a new car? A: Carol

What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

What did the down syndrome kid get for christmas? Pulmonary Embolisms.

Why was the Tyrannosaurus Rex such an aggressive animal? it had short arms so it could not masturbate.

An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

what do round tank toilets do? blow up CC

2 sheeps are outside having a great time One sheep walks up to the other sheep and says: hello The other sheep says: hello Now what I want to know: what ally do you get your drugs from

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

Ok soo theres a Jewish Guy, a Christian Guy and a Gay Guy. The Jewish Guy goes Amen The Christian Guy goes Ámen The Gay Guy goes Ammeeeennn

2 black people and a mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The black person because they decided it would save gas if they all carpooled to their job.

What animal wouldn't you want to play games with? Probably none of them. They are animals and incapable of playing board games.

There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WHAT'S THE ANSWER?! WHAT DO YAH MEAN YA DUNNO?!

Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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