What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Chuck Norris does not get sick; He only gets sick when his immune system is weak.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What is an antijoke? Not Knock

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Yo mamas so dumb she has to repeat the 10th grade...again.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the boy fall over? Because he got hit by a car. Follow forever.art7 on Insta.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

You know whats annoying? Steve

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A moose walks into a grocery store. He goes over to a cashier and says, "On what aisle are the potates?" The cashier replies, "Aisle 4." The moose went to aisle 4 AND THERE WERE NO POTATOES!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

kk

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What does aaron eat for dinner Answer- Fat Finger HAHAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -32

There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Suck my bigvagina you faggetass bitchybuns

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops