Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

thumb_up thumb_down -5

moonshine most none americans think its just when the moon shines we have another story

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the black man very rich? Because he was a lawyer who worked hard and was able to provide himself with a steady income.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by 7, who is a rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats something naked and nailed to a cross? jesus, idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats white and sticky? a white stick

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops