what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -39

what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why did the chicken cross the road? Beacause the destination he was trying to reach was across this road Notice how he tried This is because he got hit by a car but know one cares for him

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Hi my names Sarah and I love baby's. I don't think I could eat a whole one though

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama all found a magical lamp. The Genie appeared and said, "I will grant one wish for all of you, and one wish only." Bill wished to become president. The other two thought that would be pretty cool and did the same. (ic3)

thumb_up thumb_down -47

why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What is blue and roles about on the floor A baby playing with a plastic sack

thumb_up thumb_down -55

what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops