Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKS on the moon. Michael Jackson rapes little boys

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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What do you call a cup that holds liquid A cup

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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Ding dong Who's there Electricity

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Hej Erik och Leo!!

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How did the little boy get lost? He didnt he got dragged into a van and was raped violently.

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What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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how to turn invisable. eat yourself

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops