What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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What did the world's greatest bowler say when he got a gutterball? "Spare me the irony!" Get it? It's because he's made of metal.

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Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

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Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops