Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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What do kittens and napkins have in common? You can sneeze into both of them except the kitten doesn't like it

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You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He hurt himself.

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What did i say to the stupid person? Your Stupid.

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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Why was the fat kid the last one to lunch? He'd had lead bricks stapled to his ankles by the skinny kids.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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What happens when a baby stops crying? it dies.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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Why was the house painted pink? I dont know, why don't you ask the owner?

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why was the little girl crying? because i raped her.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

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What do you call a man with a horse? A man

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someone had sex with Justin bieber end result Justin went into labor

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yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

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What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

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What were Benjamin Franklin's first words after he died? It's been 225 years and we still don't know yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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