This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

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What do you call a black guy with a peg leg? An amputee.

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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sadf

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

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Maths.

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What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What do you call a bunch of black people at the bottom of the ocean? Cocoa puffs

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What do you call justin bieber haveing sex with a lady? A dream

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Why did the Chef go to jail? He killed his wife.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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What did one volcano say to the other? Nothing. Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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Rarity: "So, what is that splendid frock of yours saying?" Maud Pie: "It doesn't talk. It's a dress."

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops