Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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What's another word for Manslaughter? My new Hobby

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

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What did the tractor say to the farmer? Nothing, tractors don't talk

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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Theres two things i hate in this world... racists . . . and black people

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Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops