What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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What is green and is not grass A frogg

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Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

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How did the fat guy survive the plane crash? Because he still in the food court at the airport.

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why Is Billy So Dumb? He Didin't Pass School

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What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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I once saw a fat child eating a sandwich. I wondered what was inside.

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What do you call an African man with no legs? Murderer

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What blew the baby's mind? Daddy's knuckles.

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What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

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What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

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I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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