Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

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what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

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Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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