Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

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Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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A young baby died.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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THAT'S RIGHT, BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER BOUGHT. LOOK WHAT A GREAT JOB IT DID ON THIS PAGE YEAH! I RECKON IT IS THE BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER DIDN'T SEE

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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Knock knock. Its open.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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