how do you keep a blond in sespence you dont tell her

What's brown and sticky? A stick

knock knock whos there? doctor doctor who?

Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

Q. What do you call a bear ripping a man to pieces? A. A bear.

What do apples taste like? Apples.

Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

this is not a joke.

Q:Whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead baby? A:The dog has skidmarks in front of it -RDV

What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

What is the difference between Whitney Houston and Elvis. They are dead. And it make people go boo hoo

What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

hi ....................... oh i thought this was a chat room !!!!!!!

Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

No joke.

What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

Q: What happened when Timmy divided by zero? A: He got a syntax error.

what did the ninja say to the watermelon ? nothing

A Christian, a Jew, and a Hindu walked into a bar - guess what happened then? Well two of them are alcoholics so they wisely changed their minds and left, then the other one got bored so he left too.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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