An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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Text Klarens at 317-653-8695. Tell him crazy shit or send crazy pictures.

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Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

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PENIS that is all

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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Justin Beiber has fame, his own bodyguards, he has performed many shows and has everyone's attention. What do you have? A penis.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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What did the catholic priest do to the little boy in the Confessions Took his confessions

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What's blue and smells? A dead girl guide.

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What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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Your momma is so fat, her doctor recommended exercising more and eating healthier.

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Why was little Alice and her family at the graveyard? Well someone had to come at her funeral...

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What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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Hey I Just Met You , And This is Crazy But Don't Text. My Phone Cuz You Stalk Me Daily #Taste_MyCarmel

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops