- Anti Joke

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The first is a person of the Jewish Faith and the other is a popular item of food.

What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

What's the difference between a person who can differentiate an anti-joke from a joke and one who cannot? Other than being able to tell the difference between the two types of humour, it is impossible to tell, as no further information is given.

A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

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Roses are red Im adopted

Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

asians have slitted eyes lol

When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

why don't asians use this finger (point at pinky)? because it's my finger.

What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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