Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know ask a second grader.

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

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roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

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Knock Knock Who's there

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"My CiOCK is bigger!" "No! My CiOCK is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger DiICK.

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Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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all these jokes are horrible now

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So this guy was making a sandwich...

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops