What comes out of a zit? Purple poop.

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your momma's so fat that we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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mohammed ali walks into a bar, gets a drink, signs a few autographs , and a good time is enjoyed by all.

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

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Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pickles.

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

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why did they plain crash? cause of gravity stupid

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What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? a horse

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What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops