Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

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Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

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If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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Whats the difference between a bench and a black man? A bench is an inanimate object incapable of speech, emotion, or thought process.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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