how much fish could a chicken

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

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Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

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knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

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Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

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I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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Rylan Clark

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops