When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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Why wouldn't Leena sleep with Ole? Because she thought him to be a dumb, ugly, Scandinavian.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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Gentlemen, when she says no, she always means yes. Unless, of course, your rhetoric is of a sexual nature.

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What is big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

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whats the difference between a European and a african an african has more pigment in his skin due to prolonged exposure to light

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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