whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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star wars kid

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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Whats the difference between a nigro and a nigro... They are both BLACK!

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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