"When there's something srange, in your neighborhood... who you gonna call..?" The cops

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo Momma So Fat!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?............Gangrape

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many people can you fit in an oven? Six million, according to Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. What has two legs and is covered in red stuff? A. Half a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops